Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my poor anus
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
