I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
