i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
