I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
