I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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