It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
