Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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