i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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