i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
