great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
