i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
