By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
