we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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