Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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