she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wear drunk well.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
