Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
