if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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