I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
