We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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