"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
