What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
