the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
