Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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