i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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