and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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