High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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