he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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