If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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