I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
