i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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