Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
