Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
