How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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