Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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