tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
