I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
