I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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