My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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