Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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