I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
