i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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