You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize