I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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