my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
