whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
