I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
