it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
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