Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
