Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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