Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
