what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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