I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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