My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
