toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
