Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
