I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
