what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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