I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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