Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
