He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
