i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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