ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
